Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Standing on the Promises

Hallelujah, bless god partners we have the victory! Gloria and I are really excited about our upcoming vacation...uh, ministry trip to Hawaii. We expect to see lives transformed as we become fully immersed in the liquid glory honey cloud! Thanks to the generous donations of countless widows and orphans we will be riding there in style, bless god! God is doing magnificent things!

Partners, we believe that this is a special time in our ministry. The outpouring in Lakeland may well be the prelude to the Great Tribulation, hallelujah! Like other ministers, we are planning a hunting...uh, ministry trip to Nigeria where miracles are taking place by the millions. We believe that this is due to the more intense level of their faith! The Nigerians have learned the principle of sowing and reaping.

We urge you to exercise your faith. For this month only, a $200 tithe into our ministry and we'll send you a 1" x 1" prayercloth and pray for you to receive the hundredfold blessing. I If Jesus were still alive I think he would sow into our ministry.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Partnering with FKCM: What are the Benefits?

Praise God! We here at FKCM Ministries believe that, hidden deep, deep within the Abrahamic Covenant, God has promised financial blessings and health, especially for those who choose to partner with our ministry.

You might ask yourself "Why partner with FKCM ministries?" In a word: Rich soil. In our new X-10 Citation Jet, we can spread the gospel further, faster, and deeper than other so-called ministries equipped only with outdated, prop-driven planes.

The fact is, as King's Kids, we do NOT have to settle for second-best. We've been bought with a price, hallelujah! Yes, there are some who believe God wants us all to ride donkeys like Jesus. Now think about it partner....just how effective do you think that would be? I can promise you this, friend - it'll be a cold day in hell when you see F. Kenneth Copeland riding a lowly donkey, bless God. If Jesus were still alive today, there is no doubt in my mind he would be riding in style in a Citation X-10 Jet! Glory, my friends! WWJF!

In addition to receiving the benefits of wealth, prosperity, and perfect health, with your contribution of $100 or more, you will receive preferential seating at our next Noise of Victory Believers Campaign (Luke 14:10). You'll also receive our monthly newsletters with my personal autograph stamp. Most importantly, you'll be helping defend our First Amendment rights! As you have probably heard, our ministry is now under attack from Senator Charles Grassley of Iowa, who is pushing Congress to ask us for financial transparency. What gall!

We believe that the admonition in scripture to 'provide things honest in the sight of all men' was restricted to those living in the first century who were laboring under the generational curse of poverty. We deeply value the most private parts of those who donate generously to this ministry. From the home bound widow down to the lowliest orphan on our mailing list, we are committed to protecting your identity against others who would exploit you at every turn for financial gain. Glory to God, I pledge to my covenant partners to suffer in chains, as Paul did, before betraying your confidence and disclosing our most precious resource, your name and personal mailing address.

We urge you to continue to stand firm on the promises hidden deep within the Abrahamic Covenant! Claim your blessing today with a onetime donation of $100 or more and watch what God can do for me you!